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"If this were a bad dream, would you tell me?" (Computer) "That is not a valid question." "Like hell it's not." - Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden), Star Trek TNG
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In this quirky episode, Dr. Crusher finds herself inside an ever-shrinking alternate reality where everyone she knows disappears until it's finally just her. Asking if it's all a bad dream seems reasonable, valid. But not from the perspective of the computer.
So what is a valid question then? Is validity is in the eye of the beholder? Or of the mouth of the asker? Or one man's stupid question is another man's treasured insight? Or perhaps questions should simply stand alone, without adjectives.
* * * 3min read 💣A Scientist's Guide on How to Sit Correctly I love how simple and short this article is. It's everything you need to know in just a handful of paragraphs. There's no perfect posture, no magic desk or chair. And we should all just move more. read article
5min watch 🎁 The 3 Things We Really Need February: the month of love and endless comparative and anxiety inducing references to our relationships. I found this video by School of Life refreshing. "It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work: kindness, shared vulnerability, and understanding." watch video
"She's probably done the most horrific thing one person can do to another - not live up to your expectations - so I'd take a good, long, hard look ... See her for who she is, not what you want her to be." - Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg), Star Trek TNG
* * * Expectation. To consider probable or certain. To consider due or necessary. To consider bound in duty or obligated.
Can be a good thing. A tool for accountability, reliability, and relationship navigation.
But when forced upon others, often unknowingly, eh, rarely a good thing. It's like we blow up a delicate balloon, filled with our thoughts, wishes, hopes, and dreams. Then hand off to another with the expectation they will carry it. Perfectly.
Not asking if they'd like that balloon. Or if they even have room in their hand. And the eventual heartache to follow when our balloon is dropped, popped, shriveled, given back, or floats away.
February is a big month for expectations, especially on those we hold dearest. I'm hopeful the positive lessons of 2020 carry into this month and into the balloons we ask others to carry: appreciating health, valuing flexibility, creativity within constraints, compassion among chaos.
To seeing as they are,
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5min watch 📦 What Everyone Really Wants Every time I think I can't love the YouTube channel School of Life any more, they knock it outta the part with another great video. "Though each individual is unique, deep down, everyone is searching for the same thing: reassurance - a gift that is within all of our power to give." watch video
"I have been told that patience is sometimes a more effective weapon than the sword." - Worf (Michael Dorn), Star Trek TNG
* * * Close eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Wait.
Resist anger, urge to lash out, strike.
Slow the heart beat and breath.
Sometimes a sword is required. But not often. Usually the best way to win a situation, enlighten an ignorance, or overcome an obstacle - is to wait.
Ponder the possibilities.
Listen with compassion.
Act with a formed strategy.
To patience, Raechel
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3min read 🏒 Decluttering: Not Just for Stuff This article that goes beyond the usual decluttering of things. And talks about decluttering all the voices in our life. read article
10min read 🏝️ Benefits of Sauna If you've ever considered using or getting sauna, this article outlines the many physical, mental, and social benefits. read article
"When one has been angry for a very long time, one gets used to it. It becomes comfortable, like old leather. And finally, becomes so familiar that one can't ever remember feeling any other way." - Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), Star Trek TNG * * * I've been thinking a lot about old anger recently. Past grievances with so many details lost to time, all that lingers are wisps of a tedious unresolved stalemate.
Despite the mental gridlock, it can be an odd kind of comfortable. Like old leather.
Perpetual redressing of an old wound can feel easier to face than the fear of exposure to a new one. Easier to accept "just how things turned out." End of story.
But is it? Can we walk out of an old anger trap?
As I'm sure it has been for you too, this last year hasn't been exactly comfortable for me. But here I am. Most of the time, we can stretch more, adapt more, forgive more, give more, than we intentionally think we can. Often it's circumstances not in our control that bring out that inner resilience, that deeper level.
But what if we intentionally push?
Pick a dark corner to shine a light on. Choose those old emotions to examine: Do I need to hold onto this? Can I change this? Can I get through some discomfort, in order to find a new, better, comfort?
To old anger,
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5min read 😬 I Want a Massage BUT ... My Back New blog series! Massage therapy can bring up all kinds of anxiety and self-consciousness gremlins. And often they get in the way of receiving the pain and stress relief that massage can provide. This fourth article is about the back. read article
8min read 🌨️ Snow Shoveling Tips Winter isn't done yet, and while we've got this "warm-er" spell, save your back and brush up on some shoveling tips. read article
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